Warning: This is a text of the category “Poor English”. Do not read it if you are linguistically sensitive. Please take this warning serious. It is not a joke!
As all fictional documentaries this fictional documentary is just as much speculative as fictitious, it is, however, based on real observations which were made in October 2009 in Politikland in Second Life.
Teleport to Politikland (The island has been wiped out from the map)
It is spring 2007. What a carry-on on the birth station in Second Life, the green orientation island. Every instance new avatars are drumming down on the little island. Clumsy and stiffly, some also completely unable to move, they tangle themselves into big square balls and block the birth channel. Only few avatars make it away, to a place, where they are safer from an enervated definite logout of their creators. One of these is the young and clever avatar Steinmeier.
In front of an attaché case shop the young Steinmeier meets the attractive Xuxu. He follows her group. From now on what worries Xuxus friends worries avatar Steinmeier as well: Second Life suffers from overspill population. The virtual world crashes more and more often. No-one knows how long this turns out all right. The young Steinmeier looks at the beautiful Xuxu. She could pixel away for ever. He hatches a plan, a rescue operation. “Before this world here comes to an end I will have found another place for us to live.” Xuxus friends tip their soft hands to each other: Applause, applause. Xuxu tenderly bumps into him. And to Pitollus, the oldest of the group, occured: Aren’t there some of us who do have contact? Contact? Contact to other beings, to beings from a First Life. Wow! Are they really some who do have? Actually yes! Here there are, in Politikland!
Steinmeier and his companions are astonished: Everything so blue! Everything so fresh! Everything so full of people with tentacles on the heads! And information panels, information boxes, information stands, information desks, information obelisks and information information! A great determination radiates this island, an light-heartedness, an atmosphere of departure. And soon avatar Steinmeier is infected by it. For hours he studies the big information hanging down from the sky. “What is a Bush?”, “who is called SPD with last name?”, ” who is afraid of an expulsion?” He finds out everything. And while the other avatars look horrifiedly and nauseatedly at the creased faces of the First-Life residents in the avatar news, avatar Steinmeier thinks: Interesting!
Reverently he pursues the discussions of the other visitors of Politikland.
[2:02] Polidia Bade: Hello and welcome to the panel discussion „Second Life – stage-managed hype or platform of the future?” My name is Christian Hochhuth. I’m the project manager of the online portal politik.de which with we conduct this Politikland.
[2:02] Benne Planer: Virtues???
[2:02] SeibertB Runo: cum tempore?
[2:02] Boller Beerbaum: s.t.
He understands not everything. But one thing: You must pay attention here! Your chance comes typed here. Your chance will sparkle by the chat here. A Link maybe which you should grasp at very fast.
But for a long time nothing happens at all: Steinmeier and his troop survive the great climate change in Second Life on April 24th, 2007.
Steinmeier and his troop welcome Turkey as a new Second Life member on August 28th, 2007.
But Steinmeier and his troop are also affected by the vast online investigations on November 8th, 2007.
And on this day it must have happened. An apparently insignificant error in the connection, somewhere it has hissed, no-one heard it, but avatar Steinmeier was catapulted out of Second Life, and precisely at this moment somewhere a computer screen was freezing so that the wildly rolling around avatar Steinmeier remained stick at this and flowed maybe thawing later on into the behind lying parliament website. The next ten days are in the dark. What we know is this: The First Life gazettes report on November 21st, 2007: A Frank-Walter Steinmeier has been appointed vice-chancellor in the First Life.
Sometimes, when the now former First Life vice-chancellor is struggling through life too hard he starts up his computer. Then he travels to his native country, to his dearest Politikland. Now there is -apart from him – no one anymore. Empty and unchanged since the online investigations on November 8th, 2007 the houses of the Left, FDP, CDU and CSU are gazing at the extinct island as if they still could not hold it. Why does nobody come anymore? Hey, avatar Steinmeier calls: Hey, Am I no one? I’m here. I maintain my inherited cottage. There is even information in the SPD cottage from the year 2008. None of you can claim this. And a poster of 2009! I am on this poster! Hectare! Yes, I am the last survivor in Politikland.” Such speeches gives Avatar Steinmeier in Politikland. Speeches which no one ever hears. And before he leaves, he always lays a little red block down in front of the lovingly neat SPD cottage. And after that he floats away – as always with the firm intention: Tonight I talk to Elke about Xuxu, about Politikland, about my past as an avatar.